Its amazing to realize how big of an affect our attitudes can have over our lives, and sometimes when we start that downward spiral it is hard to come back up. Actually, only with God's help can we ever really make a complete turnaround and stay that way. I read in another blog just the other day who was sharing about how a wise woman is to build her house. She shared this verse from Proverbs:
Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears it down."
How true this is! As the woman of my house, it is my responsibility to make sure that things are in order as they should be. I, with God's help, control the atmosphere and environment. I am the one who allows things in or out. If there is negativity in my home, it is my job to clean it out. If you know my family, you may often hear me say that we speak decimals louder than most. However, this is something that normally rattles my nerves, I like for it to be quiet (good luck to me, right?!). I have realized though, this makes me do a lot more yelling then I would like. I feel as though I am drill Sergent on a loud speaker, and I hate that! A couple of weeks ago I realized that I was not enjoying my children. I loved them, but as much as it hurts to say, I haven't been enjoying the everyday stuff. I sometimes will daydream about what it will be like when they are older and we can take vacations sans tantrums. I do not want to know how many hours I have wasted doing this instead of sitting on the floor and playing with Samuel's cars or brushing Emma's baby doll's hair. I have shown my kids an attitude of lackadaisicalness and bitterness. To put it simply, I am tired. I am tired of cleaning after everyone. I am tired of being alone with the kids all day. I am tired of everyone counting on me. I am tired...and the list could go on...if I allowed it to. But the truth is, this is the life and path that I chose. I also believe that this is the path that God has set before me. I know that it looks a lot different than what I thought it would be, but it is a good one. I have allowed myself to get in the way of what is a good thing. My own negativity has trickled out into my everyday life so much that it seems to be a waterfall now! So how can I correct this? I have decided that I am going to enjoy my life. It is amazing the difference our lives can have when we allow ourselves to enjoy it! Now don't get me wrong, I do not enjoy my kids tantrums, or backtalking. However, I do enjoy those teachable moments that allows me to be a wise builder in my home so that one day they will be enabled to do the same. I am, along with David, my kids' number one teacher. I am the example that they see daily. I must daily love God, worship Him through all things, love my husband, and love my children all with a joyful heart. The Stealer wants to take this away and keep us from enjoying life to the fullest. It is easy to allow that to happen when we are focused inward, but whenever we realize those little blue and brown eyes are watching us we begin to realize that this life is about something greater than ourselves. So why not enjoy it?! I believe that our attitude can make or break us. It is what allows us to enjoy life. It is what encourages the woman staring at herself in the mirror that sleepless nights, tantrums, cleaning up the same messes several times a day is only for a season. Our children only stay little for a time, and it is our responsiblity to teach them how to control tempers and how to clean their own messes. It is so much more rewarding when we can do that with a smile and a song in our heart, rather than being bitter and angry about it.